Rolled my face offfffff & found a new boy whose a drug dealer.
& It gets even better, next weekend I’m tripping for my first time :))))))))
Fuck bestfriends. Fuck everybodyyy, I rather be alone.
Haven’t been on tumblr recently cause my dad can’t afford to pay the internet bill anymore, along with the house. He asked me the other day to borrow my money, about 30,000 dollars which I got from a law suite. That’s a lot of money to give away. He said he’ll promise to pay me back with more interest then the bank. the times are rough, and even though our family isn’t close I’m going to have to make the sacarfice. So much for that new car. Everything revloves around money. I hate it. I hate what this world has become. its sad that I’m only seventeen and I have to pay for 20% of the morgage or else me and my family will have no where to go. What if I didn’t have that money? What if that dog didn’t tear half my face off? What if my mom didn’t sue my own grandparents? In a way, I’m happy that I got bite. Sure it was painful at the time, but if it keeps me in my house then I’m grateful.
I’m not sure why today but there’s no doubt about it, today I was the most depressed I’ve been in awhile. I couldn’t even talk to most of my friends. I could barely talk at all. I popped an addy thinking maybe that would cheer me up a little. I use to love addys they always put me in a good mood. Unfortunatly today it didn’t work that way. If anything it made me more sad. I concentrated on everything going on in my life. Everything seems to be going wrong. How can I be happy? All I wanted to do was the go home and sleep. Usually I love going to sleep and dreaming. But lately I’ve been waking up frequently during the night for various reasons. One unusal thing that’s been waking me up is nightmares. I never seemed to get nightmares till recently. Now I find myself scared to dream, to sleep. I feel like I’m a different person. But not in a good way. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with me. All I want is to be happy again. But no matter how hard I try I feel like I’m getting father and father away from being happy.
